Social media has become an addiction. When you’re bored, what do you do? Check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. for the umpteenth time. It’s become so pervasive that a lot of people have forgotten what it means to enjoy some privacy, especially in relationships.

Now that everything is out in the open, the line that separates what’s private from public knowledge has become blurred. Arguments can start over the smallest things, like when your significant other doesn’t want your relationship to become “official” on Facebook.

You start wondering why they’re trying to keep your relationship secret, as if letting your friends know automatically validates your relationship. If you ever find yourself in a position where you need social media to validate you’re relationship, then perhaps you’re in it for all the wrong reasons.

Seek validation from your partner and not from social media

A lot of couples work hard to create an illusion of a “perfect” relationship that has zero basis in reality. Meeting these couples in real life usually tells a whole different story. Sometimes people are unhappy with their relationship so they post pictures and feel better when they receive positive comments and a lot of likes. Somehow, that translates into the validation they need from their partner.

If you ever feel like you need validation, remember that you can go to your partner and express your needs. Put your phone down and communicate.

Try to live in the present

A lot of couples are so caught up in the online world that they spend more time posting updates about their relationship instead of actually enjoying it in the present moment. When you go out, you’re busy updating your location and taking selfies instead of putting your gadgets away and enjoying your time together.

By keeping your relationship off social media, you can completely enjoy the time you spend together and get the most out of the experience. You and your significant other don’t have anything to prove to anyone but each other. Internalizing this mindset leads to a happier and more secure relationship.

Keep other people out of your business

These days, when someone gets mad at their significant other they use status updates to broadcast the problem to everyone they know. In most cases, the responses they receive are just irrelevant opinions from people who shouldn’t know anything about their personal business.

Remember that a relationship is for two people, and that means you have to keep many things—both good and the bad—private because it’s really nobody else’s damn business. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t share important details about your relationship with your close friends and family, but does Becky, who you haven’t seen since grade school, really need to know?

Don’t let social media pressure you into oversharing

Social media has become some people’s personal diary. They can’t wake up without at least posting something about their life. We all have that one married friend with three kids who loves to post a status update whenever her husband isn’t “acting right.” Everyone will come in and share their thoughts, but the truth is, not only is she embarrassing herself, she’s also embarrassing her husband and kids.

And when everything is okay, she’ll post another status update informing everyone about how they’re “doing better than ever.” Can you imagine how tiring it must feel to constantly need to update people about the ins and outs of your private life?

Relationships can be stressful, and that’s okay. You and your significant other are going to have plenty of disagreements and that’s a part of the process that should be as special and sacred as all the good times you share together. Keep your relationship private. You’ll both be happier for it.

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