On a scale of 1-10, how independent do you consider yourself? While independence is a great quality, it can actually make it harder for you to be in a long-term committed relationship. Here are 5 fundamental reasons why independent people find it harder to be in a serious relationship.
1. Independent people tend to be more suspicious.
In order to be successfully independent, you’ve got to question everything and everyone, and that includes your significant other. As a result, independent people tend to be pickier when it comes to picking a partner to settle down with. They may also up and leave relationships due to small suspicions or issues that other personality types might ignore or forgive. To a certain extent, this helps protect you but at some point you’ll have to let your guard down if you want to find true love.
2. They find the most happiness in things they work hard for.
Independent people love a good challenge, and anything that comes too easy just isn’t all that fulfilling. This is an excellent quality until you start picking challenging partners on purpose, subconsciously of course. Think back on your past partners, were they littered with issues and negative drawbacks that you felt compelled to fix? This same personality trait can also cause you to become bored and unfulfilled in healthy long-term relationships.
3. They don’t mind being alone, in fact they often prefer it.
Independent people certainly don’t need a partner to enjoy life; they can travel and accomplish just about anything without any help from anyone. They’d way rather spend time alone than waste time with the wrong person. Without a strong need for a partner, independent people can become hypercritical of potential and current partners, making it more difficult to find what they deem ‘the right one.’
4. They overestimate their ability to change others.
This relates to number 3, in that independent people often pick challenging partners because they think they can change them and the challenge sounds intriguing. While independent people are generally very successful when it comes to tackling tough problems, changing people is far from easy to do—and most of the time it’s not even possible. So while the challenge initially draws them into the relationship, the inability to change someone causes drama and turmoil.
5. Independent people tend to attract needy people.
Needy people are automatically attracted to the confident aura that radiates around independent people. For some, this dynamic works great, after all opposites attract. But for others, needy partners get old fast and can lead to a lot of failed relationships.